Monday, July 03, 2006

...And Edinburg Goes All In with a Seven and a Two

At first glance it seems that the first annual Texas Cook 'Em, High Steaks in Edinburg thing kicked names and took ass on Saturday. I went by, quietly made my way around the place and in true Powerslave fashion, took a mental inventory of things.

First off, to Councilman Espinoza and everyone else involved, I congratulate you on the success as you describe it. However, success should not be gauged merely by the number of competitors entered, but by the buzz created by the people who decided to drive out there for no other reason than to look around. The people who aren't related to any contestants, coordinators, or judges. Sure, a lot of cooks said they'd be back next year, but will the casual observer who stopped by this year come back next year? As I walked around out there, I felt that there were some things missing. Let's be honest, watching meat cook is about as entertaining as watching grass grow, even with several beers on board, so what is going to make someone like me come back next time?

What the Cook 'Em needs is a gimmick. A theme that will bring in more than the judges, volunteers, families of the cooks, and the hungry. Maybe it could be a year to year thing. You know, like a western/ranch theme...oh, wait, that was this year. Okay, fine! As much as it pains me to admit it, it's plain to see that the Hee Haw genre suits the Cook 'Em to a tee. It would be amusing though to see "High Steaks in Valhalla: The Perfect Viking Barbecue," and watch it degenerate into a full scale rape and pillage of Colonia Rodriguez across the way.

Entertainment of some sort is surely needed. I know the rain kept the musical acts off the stage. I was really looking forward to the Rat Pack Redux after the Elvis imposter. I don't know who else was scheduled to play, but it doesn't have to be Kenny Chesny to hold a crowd. Some good local talent will do just fine.

How about some games? And I don't mean carnival type stuff. Having already ceded that the country/western/cowboy yee'haw thing is probably going to be the dominating theme of an event like this, one game that I'm sure would be a hit would be horseshoes. A horseshoe tournament complete with age divisions, individuals, and two person teams. It'll give the spectators something else to do with their beer while their meat gets smoked.

After seeing the award listings, it appears they were strictly geared toward the quality of the food. Seeing as how only a few folks will get recognized for their tasty creations, I think it would behoove the planners of the Cook 'Em to consider some non-culinary awards for categories like, best barbecue pit, fanciest chef's outfit, best trailer, or themed cook site and crap like that. I'm sure that it'll be awarded to the guys who dressed up like cowboys and gave their site a real, old west feel, but I want to see diversity. Guys dressed up like Neanderthals cooking on an open fire with their bare hands, now that's originality!...oh damnit, the cowboy guys already have that cornered too. And now that I think about it, there's nothing like the circa 1896 hygiene of some of the cooks to really build my appetite. Where's Ryan Wolf and the Food 4 Thought crew when you need them? Hey guys, diesel fuel, although somewhat anti-bacterial, is probably not recommended for washing hands.

So Edinburg went all in with a seven and a two, and like a true gambler, Edinburg got lucky and flopped a couple of sevens insuring another run at the Cook 'Em for next year. I wish them the best of luck and I'll say now that if I'm in town, I'll sure mosey my way on down to the park to check it out. I'll be the one dressed up like the viking.

2 Comments:

Blogger Gene Espinoza said...

Seven and a Two thats almost as bad as a Ten and a Two!(I hate that hand) Thanks for your comments. We already held our post event meeting. I like some of those ideas you had. We did have local bands set up to play during the evening hours, but the rain came down. We did however recieve a lot of suggestions for next year from the cooks as well as the public. Overall I believe it went well. Our first meeting for the 2007 cook-em is August 4th 2006. I guess the flop was good to us. I still think a little hard work had something to do with it. We will work on making it better next year. Thanks for stoping by!

7:58 PM  
Blogger denise said...

When I lived in Austin, there used to be a Sunday event called Chicken Shit Bingos at Ginny's Bar. Dale Watson would perform his TRUE Texas country music while people waited around for chickens to take a shit on the bingo floor.

THAT was entertainment.

I like the Valhala idea. It's high-time I put on a St Pauli girl outfit and put my blonde wig to good use.

-d

8:58 AM  

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