Sunday, June 25, 2006

Renewed Faith in Humanity

In most, if not all of my posts, I tend to rip on one thing or another, generally because of stupid human behavior. I witnessed something the other day that began with the aforementioned stupid human behavior, but turned into something that made me glad to be part of the village.

It was a hot Sunday afternoon in the clogged up Sam's Club paking lot in McAllen. Sorry, Gene, Edinburg no gotta Sam's. I had driven up to the front of the store hoping I'd find a space within a parsec of the door. Disappointed as usual, I was forced to wait in front of the store as some traffic had backed up. I saw that in the row to my left, a car was slowly backing out of one of the Wonka Golden Ticket spots in what my Dad lovingly refers to as the, "front row". A man in a pick up truck was patiently waiting to claim the space, turn signal and all. Funny thing was, all of us around him knew it and knew the space was his. I looked to my right and saw a Land Rover SUV passing the two cars behind the pick up. I figured the "person" driving was in a hurry and just wanted to get out of there. No harm in that, right? Boy was I wrong. This "person" decided that the newly vacated space was hers.

My beautiful wife and I sat and watched as things seemingly began to move in slow motion. The pick up was already moving to park in the spot when this "person" in the Land Rover tried to squeeze in and take the space. It did, but in the process, the Land Rover ripped the entire front bumper and brushguard off this Dodge pick up.

Flabbergasted, we sat there a second to see what was going to happen. I saw the driver of the Dodge pick up get out to check the front of his truck. He stood there shaking his head, arms akimbo. Suddenly, the driver of the SUV, a young, richer than you, girl and her even more rich than you mother got out with these, "how dare you!" looks on their faces . The mother, who was obviously the owner of the SUV, began to yell at the man as he stood by his truck. The man made some sort of reply, but was no where near as animated as the lady.

Seeing this man, who appeared to be of modest means, being berated by the woman. I decided to get out and give the man my name in case he needed a witness. By this time, a crowd was beginning to gather and that's when things got interesting. The occupants of the SUV were denying that the crash (this was no accident) was in any way their fault and an argument broke out between the parties, sans one, the driver of the pick up. He stayed by his truck looking nervous and confused.

I walked up to him and asked him if he was alright. He said he was okay. I gave him my business card and told him that I had seen everything. He glanced at me and with the look of desperation on his face, asked me what he should do. I told him to call the police and make a report.

Meanwhile, the security guard arrived and got on his cell phone. I could hear him on the phone obviously talking to a dispatcher at the police department. I figured that things were now going to calm down and that at least this man had me as a witness.

Little did I know that on the other side of the man's truck, other witnesses with torches and pitchforks had gathered and were having a polite discussion with the lady from the SUV who was still barking away in Spanish. A woman in the crowd on that side of the truck who had seen what had happened was rallying support from other witnesses, who, probably for the same reason we did, stayed around to help this poor man.

All of us who were witnessess wrote our names and phone numbers on a note pad someone had taken out. All of us were in support of this man. All of us wanted to see that the people in the SUV were put in their place. And all of us felt as though we had done the right thing. All of us, six or more perfect strangers banded together to help another perfect stranger for no other reason than to see that what is right is right.

The crowd disbanded and we all went about our business. I never got a call from a police officer, so I'll have faith that he was one of the smart ones and laid out the facts to the women in the SUV and the case will be closed.

And to those ladies, and I use that term loosely, in the Land Rover. I hope that your crass, greedy stunt was worth doing several thousand dollars damage to your own vehicle. Enjoy driving around knowing that the entire passenger side of your snobmobile now looks like Abe Vigoda's face. More than that though, I delight in knowing that you were wrong and that you were told you were wrong by the hoi polloi you thought we were. So go home to your friends and family and tell them your side of the story and we'll tell our friends and family the truth.

To the man in the truck, I wish you the best of luck in dealing with those people and remember, you're not alone. There's a list of names in your pocket of people who will be there if needed. Of course, I can only speak for myself.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Dead Days of Sports

Thanks be to God, the NBA season just ended. I used to be a fan of pro hoops when I was young and impressionable, back in the good old days of Byrd and Magic, Olajuwon and Ewing, and of course, Michael Jordan. Now, I don't know. To me it's just a bunch of jive crap which brings me to the title of this post.

This time of year stinks for me as an average sports fan. Stanley Cup is over, football is a distant memory and, well, you know what I think of basketball.

But hey, Powerslave, what about baseball? What about baseball you say? Can you say 162 games? Where else can you lose half your games and still be considered a contender? I mean, besides the NBA. Baseball just isn't quite that exciting this time of year. Remember last June? The Astros were eating out of a dog bowl in the National League and they ended up making it to the World Series. Sure, I occassionaly enjoy watching a Yankees/RedSox game just to see who gets in a fight or seeing Albert Pujols hit another homer against the Astros. But call me in late August when things start getting interesting.

But Powerslave, there are so many other sports to choose from!

Really? Soccer? Don't get me started on soccer. I'm saving a major post on that sport for after the World Cup, so stay tuned.

Golf........right. Did you see Mickelson choke on Sunday?

Tennis. Yeah, I know, Wimbledon.

The WNBA! What's worse than the NBA? You guessed it, the WNBA. If I wanted to watch men play bad basketball, I'd go to the rec center and watch the under 6 foot men's league. At least they're better looking and I'd have about the same odds of getting a date with one them.

Hey Powerslave, I think we got you! What about Arena Football? How bad do you have to be to only have the skills to make an Arena football team? I've been to a few Dorados games and I just don't know what all the hullabaloo is about. Even the high schools play with eleven players. It's not real football, it's flag football with pads. And another thing, does everything that could possibly happen in a game have to be sponsored by something? How about a Vaseline Petroleum Jelly incomplete pass?

LaCrosse? To quote the great George Carlin, "LaCrosse isn't a sport, it's a faggot college activity," although apparently not at Duke University.

NASCAR/ Indy style racin'. Yeah that's right, I sed racin'! There aren't any black people in that sport and Danica Patrick wears a helmet so my interest in it is limited to highlights on Sportscenter. That's where you'll see all the wrecks, fires, and pit accidents, then watch the winner cross the finish line all in about 45 seconds. Now that's efficient. One new phenomenon among the NASCAR brethren is the bickering after a race when someone gets cut off or wrecked into. Nothing like a meth juiced redneck throwing his helmet at a car going by at 200 miles per hour.

Now to ESPN's cadre of crap. Ping pong, Texas Hold 'Em, rodeo, paint ball, fitness pageants, bass fishin', beach volleyball, world's strongest idiot, badminton, cricket, hotdog eating, croquet, lumberjacking, Scrabble, darts, pool, skeet shooting, dominoes, spelling bee, bowling, cheerleading, more Texas Hold 'Em, and yes, even rock-paper-scissors. Might as well develop the World Coin Flip Championships for Christ's sake!

All of this makes me beg for the start of football season. High school, college, and the NFL(screw Canada, what's up with the 5 acre end zones eh?). It's all good. I'll get by knowing that the first pre-season game is a little more than a month away.
I get to enjoy hearing Cowboy fans talk about how they're going all the way this year. I get to watch Longhorn fans painfully realize that any hopes of another national championship packed up his jock and moved to Nashville. I'll enjoy the sports shows on radio and t.v. and pray that it lasts forever. I like dreamin'....

Monday, June 19, 2006

Channel 12 and the Edinburg City Council

The City of Edinburg's ECN channel 12. Aside from having to endure the occasional two and a half hour folkloric dance recitals or Blandina Cardenas' rhythmic, monotone delivery at those never ending alumi functions, it's not too bad as bad t.v. goes.
My main programming interest has got to be, without a doubt, the City Council meetings, especially since the May elections.
Wasn't that first meeting a treat? You could cut the tension with a chain saw. I sat there with my beautiful wife and my step-son and watched in amazement as the new kid on the block, Mr. Gus Garcia, made his presence known. As he tried to table everything on the agenda, I took sheer delight in watching Gene Espinoza's body language. He reminded me of Al Gore in his debates with Bush back in 2000, squirming around and making noise, only Gene's a lot smarter. I would love to have heard what he was saying to Wendy Sturgis. It must have been a hoot, because every time he leaned over, she smiled, then nervously swigged water from the Dasani bottle.
For sheer comedy though, I would have to go with attempt by either Noe Garza or Gene Espinoza's (bad audio) attempt to move to approve one of the items before Ochoa was done reading it. Great move guys! Too bad you got spanked by the Mayor.
In the end, Garza, Espinoza, and Garza figured out that all they had to do was vote down the table motion then move to approve. In the true spirit of sportsmanship they eventually allowed most of the stuff to be tabled.
Fast forward to the next meeting. The "we're all going to get along" banter from the weeks after the last meeting waltzed out the door right after the prayer. Gus Garcia led the Pledge of Allegiance and never stopped talking. In one of the re-zoning requests, he read aloud some quote from a guy whose name sounded like one of the male members of ABBA, about the dangers of polluting the community with commercially zoned areas. I don't take issue with his position, I just wish he would have paraphrased it in his own words. Reading it made him sound like a fourth grader reading from the bible in church.
It's good that Gus hounds like he does, but dude, please, try to keep it brief. I don't need to hear you self depricate every time you debate an issue with the others. Just say your peace and move on. Face it, your out voted anyway. Oh yeah, don't rip on people you don't know anything about (Ornelas), that looked bad.
Now I haven't said much about Ms. Garza, so here it goes. Girl, please don't apologize for disagreeing with anyone. It's not personal, it's business. Besides, you're the best looking one up there and I don't want you to look weak. Give 'em Hell, Alma! Put on your game face and pretend that they're one of those turds you loathe in the juvi court.
As for mayor Ochoa, what's with the pissed off look all the time? You won the election. Smile man. In your first run in the chair you seemed so much more at ease. I know you don't have the rubber stamp thing going, but give us a break. Things will come around.
Before I go, I have one more bit of constructive criticism for Channel 12. Enough with the in-depth interview. Twenty minutes is about 17 minutes more than is needed to inform the public about the particulars of the last annual Texas Cook 'Em thing. (Trust me, I'll bitch about that when it's over.) The odd silence from the generally unwilling and unprepared guests makes my finger shake to the channel up selector on my remote so I can see what's on HBO.