Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Edinburg Canis latrans

Enough with the hypersensitivity to the name of the new Edinburg baseball team. When I hear the word coyote I think of exactly that, the miniature wolf that roams the plain. Couple that with the graphic of a howling coyote silhouetted in a baseball moon and I'm pretty sure they're talking about a cute wild doggie.
How can anyone with an ounce of sense think that an organization would actually name a sports team after an immigrant smuggler, intentionally or otherwise? Should we dare speculate what that logo would look like? How about an actual moon with the silhouette of a guy running over a cactus covered hill. No, wait. even better. A cartoon style graphic of a crappy, burnt orange 1970's GMC pick-up with a big black EDINBURG painted on the door. 49 people crammed into the camper-topped bed, with arms, legs, and heads protruding out the windows. The "coyote" driver could be leaning out the window, grinning with a baseball in his hand.
And since when is the word coyote a derogatory term that is "racially charged," as some clown put it in a letter to the editor in The Monitor? It's not the Frito Bandito for Pete's sake, it's a dog. Seems to me that the only folks who could be offended by the use of coyote would be the smugglers themselves, but how organized could they be?
I would figure that the National Association for the Adavancement of Immigrant Smugglers might stage a boycott of the baseball games and call for an end to the terrible mischaracterization of their trade. If that fails, I'm sure their lawyers would file a temporary restrining order against the team taking the field with that name.
So before the issue comes to a head and takes up more valuable docket space needed for our booming lawsuit industry, the team should get really specific about their name. The solution? Canis latrans. The scientific name for the coyote. That way we'll all know what the team name means.
I can just hear poor Forina up there as he screams, "Ladies and gentlemen lets hear it for your Edinburg Canis latrans!" Ponder the possibilities in the naming contest for the on-field mascot. Somehow Corky the Canis latrans doesn't have the same ring as Corky the Coyote. By the way, Coyote organization, feel free to use the name Corky if you desire. I don't mind.
As summer approaches I wish that the nine of you who are offended by the name would please chill out and get p.o.'d about something important. It's just baseball. No matter if it's the Coyotes or Roadrunners (highly insensitive to the 10K'ers I might add) this May, it's a place where we can take our friends and families to escape the daily barrage of life's b.s. Enjoy yourself out there and watch out for those foul balls.

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